You are suffering because you are obsessing over what you have less of, have lost or will never have? Yes? Then your suffering is based on loss in some variation. If you want to stop suffering, then you must stop expecting and start appreciating.
I suffered on average. I was angry on average. I was resentful on average. I never thought about the reason why -- I just assumed that is how I am. But I came to realize that happiness is a choice. I wondered how do I re-condition myself to appreciate and be happy?
It’s a commitment to progress. Think of it like this:
- If you measure your progress annually you will have some bad years.
- If you measure your progress monthly you will have a few bad months.
- If you measure your progress daily you will have a few bad days.
The more you measure, the quicker you can adapt to changes. So if you measure your progress multiple times a day or even moment to moment, you can adjust more appropriately when you’re state is changing.
I use these questions to measure my state throughout the day:
- What is my emotional state?
- Am I taking care of myself?
- Will this matter in 5 years?
- What is the best thing that happened to me today?
- What could I have done better?
- What is the most important thing I should be doing today?
- Who are the most influential people in my life and what am I doing for them?
- Who have I helped today?
Happiness is a choice. A higher personal standard which not only serves you but attracts others to connect with you.