You have always doubted your writing. You never felt you were good enough. Perhaps it was your mother? Or a teacher? Or something sinful like the Resistance. Whatever the cause of your doubt, it was washed away after reading a quote from French-American essayist Anaïs Nin:
We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospection.
Those words became your why. American novelist Flannery O'Connor adds:
I write to discover what I know.
Yes, but you also write to discover what you don’t know. You are fascinated by the how. It drives you to ask, “more beautiful questions.” It imbues you to write. To experience. To Share—so you can live life twice.