"My fear is that I am not good enough." How many times have you repeated that statement? 10, 20, 40 times in any given day?
I repeat that statement at least 30 times per day. But here is the thing, fear is not the reason you don't do stuff. Fear is a relic. A fundamental piece of code buried deep in the human operating system. Psychologists have affectionately labeled it the lizard brain -- which is in charge of fight, flight, feeding, fear, freezing-up, and fornication.
The reason that you don't do stuff is because of the narrative, "My fear is that I am not good enough."
- But not good enough for what?
- To apply for that new job?
- To move across the country?
- To be a better father?
- To ask for a raise?
When you start down the "not good enough" road the lizard brain wakes up and does what it’s been programmed to do -- keep you alive. That is why you only do stuff that is safe. So the goal is to figure out how to embrace the lizard brain.
While there are countless strategies, here is what has worked for me:
- What is your narrative warning you against?
- What are you really afraid of? Write it all down, in detail.
- Are there professional skills you need to foster or learn?
- Do you need more resources?
Use these questions to: understand where you are, understand where you want to go and ultimately overcome your disempowering narratives so you can grow. At the end of the day you, and no one else, is responsible for managing your narrative and your fear.